Dick in Crazy
by Yojimbra
Summary: He had no idea how she was alive, but damn did she make a convincing argument. Naruto x Tayuya. Basically sex and... actually just sex. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

"How the fuck are you alive?"

Compared to why he was currently tied to a chair - naked - in the middle of the Hokage office that seemed to be the more pressing matter. He was fairly certain that the woman swaying her hips towards him playing a flute had been killed by Shikamaru. At least two times so far. "Also why am I naked."

Tayuya (that was her name right?) smiled from behind her flute, her sinful melodies sending shivers down his spine with each note. He could practically feel her fingers dancing along his spine like a thousand kisses. How on earth was she making that fancy whistle do all this to him?

He had never given the flute a passing thought before, it was just some random tube with holes in it. It didn't even sound that great! Not like a drum or a good guitar. But when this redhead played it she might as well have been sucking him off with music.

"And why are you doing this?" Holy crap he was hard. Painfully hard. The air stung and and each note seemed to draw more blood into his dick. This was bad. This was really bad what if someone came in and saw him like this? And why did that turn him on even more? Where was Kurama when he needed him!

Probably laughing nine of his tails off.

She stopped in front of him, she was different from before, more mature, a lot more mature. No longer was she the girl that should have been dead. In her stead was a vile temptress of womanly wonder. The music stopped and she pulled off her shirt. Revealing her slender stomach that had just enough definition to be seen while retaining that womanly softness to it. Her breasts were perfect, proud, and perky, perched high on her chest with pretty pink nipples capping each of them. At least a handful, maybe more.

"Because, Na-ru-to" each syllable made him twitch and moan against his restraints. Her hand burned trails of lust across his skin as she traced his collar bone. Words and sound lost meaning as he fell into her touch, embracing the desire for just a moment snapping towards her. He wanted to touch her. He wanted to touch her so much.

Not a moment later she was straddling him, his dick pressing against her stomach as it served as a barrier between them. She was soft, intoxicatingly so. Her arms snaked around his neck digging into his very soul like the roots of a tree. Their breaths mingled in the air between them. Lust, desire, sex, beauty, hate, control, confusion: all of these and more formed a twisted concoction that would make a nun hard.

"We're a lot alike, and you've been in my head for a long," She drew closer, slowly, like the second hand on the clock right before it was time to leave for the day, he could do nothing but watch and pray that she sped up. "Long," Her tongue flickered against his lips. "Long," He powerless against her. She brushed against his cheek towards his ear. Nibbling on it. "Time."

He let out a moan that was half getting out of bed and half animalistic desire. She was enticing better than ramen. Better than anything. But she wouldn't let him have her. He bit his lip hard enough to draw blood. The illusion didn't fade, it didn't even respond. This was real. So very real.

"Why are you doing this?" It took all of his will to speak those words.

"I thought that was obvious," Her laugh was closer to a purr, making his insides turn to jello and more blood fill his dick. It was like he was going to burst at any moment. She kissed along his jawline teasing his lips when her chocolate eyes came into view. She was beyond beautiful. "I'm an Uzumaki ya'know. And I'm here to fuck the shit out of you, Lover-Boy."

Holy shit! Shit shit shit. He had heard that word a hundred times over. But there was something about the way she said it, the word became dirty, primal, viscial. Left him feeling like he hadn't showered in a week.

"What…-" He struggled against the bonds. He barely knew this woman. It had taken him like five minutes to remember her name. He had a fondness for redheads and would have remembered her if she wasn't dead. Or if she looked the way she did now. Her long red hair followed her every motion like a river of blood. "What if I don't want to?"

He wanted to. Badly. This was a physical need now. He needed to grab her by the hips and fuck her until his dick stopped hurting.

She laughed again and his legs twitched. She ran her hands along his body touching everything. Her eyes were drawn to his member dick and the softest of smiles graced her face. That smile meant absolutely nothing good and it made his heart race like nothing before. "We're having sex Naruto. Whether or not it's consensual is up to you."

She stood, leaving him cold and alone tied to the chair unable to reach her to stop her from moving away. No matter how hard he struggled he couldn't so much as move forward. Her hips swayed as she took one step away from him. Her pants hit the ground so fast that if he blinked he would have missed it. She was wearing nothing.

Time stopped as he stared at her ass. It was perfect. The cherry on top of a sex sundae. Her legs were long lean and lickable. Then there was her pussy. He could feel her heat from here. It called to him. Saying it's cold outside, come in here and your dick will be nice and warm.

"Fuck," he breathed. His mouth still tasted of blood.

"If you insist." She was straddling him again. His dick raged just inches away from her waiting pussy, it glistened in the light of the setting sun like honey. She placed both hands on his shoulders and flipped her hair back. She was an angel of sex and desire. And he was ready to receive her blessing. "I'm going to fuck the fucking fuck out of you."

The gates of heavens opened for him the moment he felt his dick slide inside of her. Every inch was unlike anything he had ever felt, it made his legs twitch and his body spasm. It was like ripping off a bandaid without any of the just pain, but a million times better. He bit his lip, reopening that wound gathering just enough of his sense to speak a single word.

"Fuck," He growled struggling against his restraints. He wanted to touch her. He needed to. She was there in front of him, grinding into him with an animalistic frenzy. This was sex. This was real sex, not that cheap substitute he had before. Suddenly he understood why Jiraiya was so set on getting the stuff. If it was like this every time he'd become a pervert too. Well, more of a pervert.

She moaned leaning forward her face inches away from his. Her brown eyes smoldering with enough lust to set the countryside aflame. She desired him just as much as he desired him, if not more so. That made him want her all the more.

With a gasp she closed the distance, throwing her hands behind his neck and going in for a kiss. It was everything he had dreamed a kiss could be. It was hot passionate, filled with lust, desire, and love in equal parts, if he wanted more of any part of it there was more. And he returned every ounce of it. The kissing turned to sucking, to biting and back again in a deadly dance of lips that had no end.

Her fingernails, mixing pain and pleasure, filling the air with the scent of sex and the coppery smell of blood. It only fueled him, his hips began to buck into her with vigor. Her moans only drove him forward running towards the sweet release she was promising him.

She pushed him back, blood - his blood - dripping off of her lips like a sanguine waterfall. "You haven't felt anything yet."

Inch by inch she rose up. For a second it felt like his eyes rolled into the back of his head. Just before the tip left her warmth did she pause hovering there for a moment, enjoying the feeling or his suffering. Probably both. "You're so big you know," She purred rubbing her blood soaked hands along her body. "It feels so fucking good, like you're touching everything."

"And I want more." She slammed back down onto him, it was softer than a pillow but with more force than one of Sakura's punches. He was sent into a rapture, his bonds straining. He needed to touch her, she was begging for it. He needed to kiss her again and again and again until their lips were rubbed raw. Again she rose up, just the slightest bit faster this time, but still agonizingly slow.

"So much more." She came down on him again slower this time. He felt his dick twitch inside of her and her walls clenching around him, pulling him inside of her like she was a hungry dick eating monster. "Fuck, you're so fuck."

He couldn't agree more, his mouth opened but the only came out was a mix between a groan and a moan that left him sounding like a dying horse. He could feel it building. This wonderful sensation that they were fast approaching. The climax. With each motion of Tayuya's hips getting faster and faster he was getting higher and higher.

"I'm," He managed to squeak out in the moments where his brain was actually working. "I think I'm going to cum soon."

His leg twitches and his balls began to tighten. She was going so fast now. Any moment now he'd be able to release everything.

She purred kissing him again, with more vigor than before, biting at his lip. He desired this woman more than anybody. He wanted to hold her and never let go. "Cum for me Naruto. Fill me to the brim. I want it all."

"Promise me you'll cum for me Naruto." She hugged him, her movements all but coming to a halt as she began to tighten around him, her entire body shaking and tensing all at once. She screamed from the bottom of her soul. "Come for me Naruto! Come for me! You have to promise!"

"I promise!" He probably said that to often, it was as easy as breathing. "I'm cumming!"

Release. All that beautiful tension and desire they had built up was finally brought to an end that shook his world. He emptied himself inside of her, and then some his body quaking as his dick pumped more and more of his sperm inside of her, filling her to the brim as it began to leak down his shaft.

Tayuya refused to let go, her moan continuing for far longer than his, as her hips still rocked on his softening dick. "You'll come for me right?"

He just did though right?

"You promised right Lover-Boy?" she pushed away from him, she was crying now despite the smile on her face. She kissed him again. This was different from before. It wasn't a sex kiss, it was a pleading desperate kiss. One that said goodbye. "And you never go back on your promises right?"

"You'll come for me."

XXXX

Naruto awoke with his heart pounding and drenched in a cold sweat. His nightshirt clung to him and the wedding band on his finger burned like hot iron. He groaned, staring out his window to the moon bathed landscape of Konoha. It had felt so real. But Tayuya was dead. And even if she was alive, she probably hated him.

His dick was also really hard and covered in sperm but that was beside the point.

"Naruto?" Hinata sat up rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. Her pale eyes matched the moon as she looked at him. "Are you okay?"

"Yea," He did not want to have to explain to his Fiancè how he just had a wet dream about a dead girl a week before their wedding. "I'm fine it was just a dream."

"Wanna talk about it?" Her hand was as cold as ice when it touched his shoulder. "I'm here for you."

"Thanks, I'm fine though. It was just a dream after all."

No matter how real or good it felt.

 **AN: this is what happens when I have writers block and my beta says hey why not have Tayuya screw Naruto's brains out?**

 **It was a good idea.**

 **Beta'd by xxTerror33xx**


	2. Chapter 2

The First Time was weird. Hot but really weird and kind of random.

The Second Time he brushed it off by being him thinking too much about it. Which to be fair was really hard not to think about mind-blowing dream sex from a redheaded that could suck the paint off a wall.

The Third Time happened in the middle of his office and he had to change his pants.

The Fourth Time he dove head first into it. He fucked her senseless until she was screaming his name over and over again. But she still said it. Those three words that haunted him like nothing else. Those three words that made Hinata's three words stab at his heart. "Come for me."

"Where are you?" He asked her in the few moments they had that weren't spent fucking. She was like a drug, worse than any of the shinobi vices. Everything about her made his senses go absolutely wild, just touching her felt like kissing, kissing her felt like sex, and sex was beyond all of that several times over.

She pulled his arm around her frame like it was a blanket, her backside brushed up against his still stiff member - he could not be hard around her - the high of sex still wafted in the air and had their time not be limited he would have fallen back into it gleefully. "Fuck if I know,"

"Then what are you?" He pulled her in tight breathing in deeply of her hair. It smelled like fuck, lots and lots of fuck. She laid her hand over his, her soft fingers sliding between his own and grabbing onto his palm. That felt right, righter than any time he had held Hinata's hand. "Are you a dream, a ghost-"

"No fucking Idea," She spat digging her nails into his palm. "I woke up, and I followed a red string until I found you. After that shit felt great. Especially the sex, you're a good fuck ya'know? But I need you to find me. I can feel myself-"

XXXX

"Shit."

The dreams were great, but the aftermath not so much. Another pair of pants he was going to have to wash behind Hinata's back. On the plus side, she was happy about him actually doing the laundry. But it was getting hard to explain… in more ways than one.

Naruto groaned pulling himself up off the grass, what was he doing out here again? Training? Probably, but beyond that Tayuya's dreams were getting more frequent, and happening outside of sleep. Pretty so he'd be stuck in a dream with her fucking her brains out until his body withered and died.

Not a bad death all things considered.

After a quick change and hiding the pants were Hinata probably wouldn't find them - not that she was one to snoop, even with her magic eyeballs - he was all set to desperately find anything related to Tayuya. If he could just validate that she wasn't alive then he could continue on with marrying Hinata.

But what if she was? Could he risk all that he had with Hinata just to go find someone that was all things considered kind of a bitch - a smoking hot one?

Yes.

Okay, that came way too easily. There had to be something else. Alright, would he have sex with Tayuya behind Hinata's back?

Yep.

Damn, he was just the worse kind of person. Did he really love Hinata so little that he'd just do that to her? What happened to his honor, his natural niceness, and everything else that he was. Tayuya probably dreams fucked it out of him.

"But where the fuck can I find a lead on her?" Naruto scratched the back of his head as he wandered around the streets of Konoha. There was bound to be something right, maybe where she died? Would Shikamaru know? He'd probably call him troublesome and then give him a funny look or something. And then refuse.

No that wouldn't work there had to be something, wait didn't Kabuto steal her DNA or something? Man, this shit was weird.

A chill went up his spine and Naruto felt a hand crawl up his spine and he heard the sloshing of a wine bottle as it bumped against his chest. "Ahh, Naruto, congratulations on the wedding!"

"Orochimaru?" He might technically not be a bad guy but he still gave everybody the creeps. "What are you doing in Konoha?" Also, talk about timing. More importantly, was the sannin drunk? What was with them and getting drunk?

"I'm drinking!" Orochimaru pressed onto him further, completely unaware of personal space. He sloshed the bottle around and took another swig. "Jiraiya left me his beer collection in his will, said I was too uptight and needed to de-stress, also said that Tsunade would drown herself."

"But why are you in Konoha."

"To drink! And celebrate your wedding! You can relax, I no longer seek to cause any trouble here." Orochimaru slunk away, his cheeks flushed with color and he let out that same unnerving laugh he always gave. "But you seem to be troubled, having regrets?"

"Not-"

"Now we sanin aren't too great at the whole relationship thing, especially not… well actually all of us kind of suck at it, but in honor of Jiraiya's memories I'd be happy to help you in whatever way I can." He hiccuped. "I might even be able to make a love potion, or perhaps a body-"

"Tayuya!" Naruto blurted out and Orochimaru stopped in his tracks. "What do you know about Tayuya?"

"Why are you asking about a corpse?" Orochimaru sobered up in a heartbeat.

"I don't know she's been on my mind recently is all, I only met her long enough to get punched but she keeps showing up in my dreams." It was hard not to talk about her without feeling his heartbeat going wild and his face warming. And he really did not need to get an erection in front of Orochimaru.

"Hmm, that is rather odd," Orochimaru took another drink from the bottle. "But I believe I can recall enough about her to sate your curiosity."

"Thank you,"

"As far as Experiments went Tayuya was for all intents and purposes a success, her Uzumaki blood allowed her to channel sage chakra in interesting ways, she was an attempt to recreate the Toad's Musical genjutsu."

Naruto's eyes went wide, that actually explained a lot, mannerisms, that red hair, her tenacity. "She was an Uzumaki?"

"Yep, honestly they were as important to my research as Juugo was, your bodies are just naturally good at storing energy, versatile too with more quirks than other clans could possibly hope to match, shame they were completely random." Orochimaru let out a soft laugh. "Shame that they were scattered when Uzu fell during the second war."

"So you could run more experiments on them?" He didn't mean for that to sound like a barb. Orochimaru had done a lot of bad and even the good he'd done so far was getting difficult to let that part of his past go.

Orochimaru let out another chuckle that sent a chill up his spine. "Partially but the world also lost a great deal of knowledge, my cursed seal was based on incomplete Uzumaki designs after all. The world owes the Uzumaki a great deal, even without your deeds."

"Do you think there's any chance that Tayuya could be alive?" He took a step forward feeling his heartbeat against his chest. "Or for her to come back as a ghost or something?"

"Your dreams are more than dreams aren't they?" Orochimaru's gaze was something else, filled with the unbridled curiosity of a five-year-old and the malicious ability of a mad scientist.

Crap. He was caught. Well, it wasn't like Orochimaru was the world's biggest gossip if anything he was a black hole of information whatever he retained stayed with him and him alone. Still, this was literally his only lead. "She keeps saying to come for me, and it doesn't feel like a dream either, I can remember everything so clearly and I can touch her."

Boy, could he touch her. His fingers twitched as he remembered her every curve. C, or maybe D? Didn't matter she was sensually perfect.

"Oooh, well now that is. Interesting." Orochimaru took one last sip of his bottle before he tossed it crashing into the nearest open can. "There are many rumors about the Uzumaki, their symbol the whirlpool described how they viewed fate, you could try to navigate it but ultimately it would pull you towards its center. Never letting go."

Was this a history lesson? Why did Orochimaru know so much about the Uzumaki? "So they believed in fate?"

"Indeed, but that's not all out of all the people in the world fate is tied to Uzumaki unlike any other but they also hated it, they tried to escape their fates as often as they followed it." Orochimaru took another sip. "I visited them before they were destroyed, learned more about seals in those two months than I'd learn in the years that followed. To an Uzumaki, fate was not something to be followed but something to overcome, they saw it as a challenge. Their leader once said that they were fated to join Konoha, and yet they did not, choosing to stand as their own nation."

"Then they failed, and now what few remaining Uzumaki live pledge loyalty to Konoha," Orochimaru's mouth twisted into a cruel smile. "Perhaps things would have been different had they joined Konoha outright, so it is possible that Tayuya has some inescapable fate that's drawing her towards this world and you."

"So she's fated to be with me or something?" Not that he ever believed in that fate stuff, but with all that happened there had to be something to it. "But she's dead so that shouldn't matter right?"

"Are you familiar with the red string of fate?"

"Yea, my mother said that her hair was the string of fate for her and dad." It was actually a really sappy story all things considered. "What's that got to do with anything?"

Another chuckle from Orochimaru. "Well, there was a saying for the Uzumaki's that went like this "It's more a red rubber band, if you try to resist it then it's going to either snap or someone's going to slip and you're going to slam into each other." Take of that what you will, as for Tayuya it may be possible that the unseen bond between you is forcing these dreams onto you."

"So she's not alive then?"

"If I'm not mistaken she was killed while trying to bring Sasuke to me. And again, Kabuto brought her back with the Edo Tensei, to my knowledge she went with all those brought back." Orochimaru tapped his chin, a spark filtering his eyes. "Unless."

The silence lingered for a moment as Orochimaru was lost in thought. Then the sannin gave a small hiccup.

"Unless what?"

"Unless she was destroyed before the others and her soul got captured somewhere. The possibility is amazing, as one that has moved my soul from one to another the process is not something to be taken lightly, but should there be a suitable vessel without a soul, it would make the process automatic." Naruto did not like the twisted smile that grew on Orochimaru's face.

"And would there be a suitable vessel in one of your labs?" His heart squeezed at his chest, That would be convenient wouldn't it? Just have Orochimaru spit out a clone of Tayuya from one of his labs? It'd almost makeup from the constant headache they gave off with random creatures breaking out.

"Doubtful," Orochimaru gave one last laugh before he turned. "Though try not to think too much of it your big day is in a few days after all."

Damn, that's right. The ring around his finger grew heavier, burning his flesh as a constant reminder that he was promised.

 **AN: Honestly didn't expect to actually be posting this so soon, but here we are. This one has a lot less sex. Mostly because I think it would be boring for every chapter to be nothing but sex, but ya'll might enjoy that. Anyways hope you enjoyed watching Naruto struggle with this mystery despite problem solving not being his strong suit.**


	3. Chapter 3

There was absolutely no good way to do this. He needed to tell Hinata. He really really needed to tell Hinata the truth. Especially with their wedding coming so close and the dreams becoming more and more material. Tayuya was an addiction. And hopefully, Hinata would be his rehabilitations.

The two were complete opposites, save for their love for him. Tayuya was dirty, crude, and not exactly a good person. Hinata was pure, polite, and her only sin was probably being too timid. If Hinata was an angel than Tayuya was a devil of temptation, that really liked to suck his dick.

And he really should not be thinking about her while he was eating dinner with his very soon-to-be wife. Especially not when she had gone out of her way to make such a wonderful meal. It wasn't ramen, but she still made it for him with all the love she had for him. And it tasted good.

It also tasted like guilt.

"Naruto," Hinata said in that way she had, love and understanding brimming with her soft voice. She poked at her own plate, pale eyes focused on him. Once again he was reminded of how beautiful she was. "Is something wrong?"

Naruto swallowed nothing and took another bite of Hinata's home-cooked meal. How on Earth was he supposed to tell her that he'd been cheating on her in his dreams with a woman that should be very dead? Why did all the weird shit have to happen to him? Was this a curse? It felt like a curse. "Oh, nothing everything's perfectly fine."

"Are you sure? You seem distant recently." She bit her lip, no longer able to meet his eyes. "Are you having regrets about us?" Wait, what? "We are getting married rather young and we've only been in a relationship for a year so we might have been rushing this."

"No!" His voice cracked. "That's not it at all Hinata." Something felt different, he saw it in the corner of his eye, just on the other side of the table in the kitchen. A hand. A floating hand. He knew that hand very well. It was - "Tayuya?"

The hand waved frantically at him.

"What?" Hinata asked looking taken back. She looked at where he was trying to see something. "What's a Tayuya? And what are you looking at? Is something there?"

The arm grew pushing against an invisible wall, he could practically see reality pushing itself. Until.

Pop.

Tayuya appeared in all of her full naked glory in the middle of his kitchen. "Holy fuck that hurt!"

"Shit!" Naruto swore, flinging himself backward, this was bad. Tayuya was here? Naked! Naked and here in front of Hinata. Wait this had dream written all over it. Wait no that was being too hopeful. Hinata was here and he didn't remember falling asleep. Besides. This didn't feel like those.

"Naruto?" Hinata ran over to him, her long violet hair trailing after her. In no time at all, she had her hand on his forehead as she tried to help him up. "Are you okay? Something really is wrong isn't it."

He really wanted to answer but his eyes were drawn to Tayuya. The smoking hot redhead of his dream was currently exploring herself, taking time to make sure everything worked by smacking - man that jiggle was hot - and sliding her fingers into her pussy. "Nice, finally back in the real world! Just when I thought I was going to-"

Tayuya tried to place her elbow on the countertop but fell through it.

For once his brain was working ahead of schedule. Hinata hadn't so much as reacted to Tayuya. And she just fell through the floor. So that meant either she was a sexy ghost, or he was losing his mind and having sexy hallucinations. Or this was some kind of fever dream he was having in a coma. That last one felt like the easiest out.

"Naruto? Should I call Sakura?" Hinata offered.

"No!" He didn't mean to shout like that. That was the last thing he needed. More sexual tension! "No, I'm fine, Hinata honestly just having a bit of a weird week is all, and I'm a bit hungry."

Wasn't technically a lie, he was always hungry. Something about Uzumaki and having a metabolism that didn't know how to stop. Not that Hinata was any better. She could put ramen away like any Uzumaki.

"Oh, did you not eat lunch? I know you must be stressed with the wedding and your training but that's no excuse not to eat Naruto." She pulled him over to his seat, sitting him down. "Honestly do I need to start making sure you eat?"

"No it's-" A head of red hair phased through the floor, followed by a pair of brown eyes and Tayuya's smirk that instantly made his pants feel tight. This was not going to end well for him, was it? "Fine, I'm fine Hinata fine."

"Ooooh," Tayuya smiled snapping her fingers as she rose through the floor. "I get it, you can see and hear me Loverboy, but this chick." She waved a hand in front of Hinata. "Can't. I wonder if I can touch her?"

"Why do you keep looking over there?" He watched in horror as Hinata's veins bulged, her Byakugan activated. Crap. Shit. Fuck. Hinata and Tayuya were practically staring at each other their faces inches apart. Tayuya blinked. "There's nothing there? Really are you sure you're-"

Thank fuck!

"I'm fine, really. I just have a lot on my mind, and I didn't want to bother you. And really it's nothing I'm just letting something bother me." Naruto took a deep breath. "I promise I'll be fine okay?"

"Well if you're sure." Hinata frowned and took a bite of their meal. Even as Tayuya's hand was phasing right through the girls head.

Tayuya smiled pulling back and sticking her hands out in front of her chest. "Holy crap Loverboy, this chick has some grade-A tit meat going on, and she's got a nice curvy ass too! Honestly, I approve, she's a hottie and she appears to be timid. Just the way I like my side chicks."

Naruto did his best to ignore her. To try and focus on his meal. But his dick and Tayuya had other plans.

"You know, I bet that because you can see and hear me," She swayed her hips through the table. "That I," she extended her hand out towards his face. If he moved then Hinata would suspect something. "Can." He was trapped she was so close. "Touch." he felt her touch his cheek, cupping it. "You."

It was like electricity. He could feel her much as he could feel his dick harden in his pants.

"Are you sure everything is okay Naruto?"

"Y-yea!" Naruto took a bite of his meal, somehow managing to maneuver around Tayuya's body. "I'm just so happy with your cooking."

"Oh! Why thank you."

"Pfft," Tayuya snorted, she leaned in to kiss him. Trying to act like he couldn't feel her every move as she dug her fingers into his hair, her lips brushing against his and even her tongue entering his mouth, was by far the hardest thing he had ever done. "You're such a kiss ass, but I do admit she can cook."

Her hand fell on his shoulder through his clothes. And her smile grew two sizes as she rubbed his bareskin. "Wanna get a blow job while you eat dinner with our girlfriend? Cause honestly the thought of her not knowing that you're getting off to me is really fucking hot."

Without waiting for him to respond she vanished under the table. Her hands wrapped around his dick as he stood at full attention. Holy crap, he was so hard it hurt. His leg twitched at Tayuya tongue being dragged along his length, stopping at the top to swirl around it. Hinata looked at him with one eyebrow raised a bit of food about to enter her mouth. "Sorry, leg itch."

Hinata smiled and took another bite of her food. "Oh okay."

"Sorry if I seem," He had to fight back a moan. Tayuya was working his dick like it was a popsicle. "Distracted, Kurama," Oh god he made the mistake of looking down, it was weird to see her sliding along his leg ignoring his pants, but her eyes were filled with lust and pleasure. He could practically smell how horny she was. Why was he being haunted by such a sexy ghost? "Is trying to talk to me."

"When you're about to cum pull my hair."

"Oh, is that what's been bothering you?" As always Hinata was the most understanding person in the world. And here he was lying to her while some dead chick played his dick like a flute. Hinata brought a hand up to her mouth and gave a cute giggle. "Is it anything specific? Or does he just want to be taken for a walk?"

"Haa," he groaned reaching down to pull on Tayuya's hair. What the hell would happen if he came in her while she was sucking him off in his pants? She swallowed so would it like just plop out somewhere? Why was he thinking about this? "Hahaha," good recovery! "He's not amused, but actually it's about our marriage."

"Wait!" Tayuya shot up. "You're marrying cow tits? And here I thought we had a special bound!"

She didn't sound hurt at all.

"Does he want to be there? We might not be able to make room for him." Hinata placed a finger to her cheek. "I'd love to have him there, it's just a space issue we've already filled the venue."

Tayuya adjusted his dick in his pants, he was so close to cumming. She spun around so that her shapely ass was right in front of his face. Her pussy was wet and ready for him. "I'm going to stare her in the eyes while I ride your cock. You know, to assert dominance or some shit."

"No," He wasn't sure who he was saying that too. Both. Didn't stop Tayuya though as she slid down on top of him. Dammit, why did he have to wear the loose sweatpants? "He was more worried about our children, and."

"That's right, watch me fuck your fiancè, god you're actually kind of fucking hot you know that. I can see why he choose you. I bet you're all kinds of suppressed though. Don't worry baby, I'll show you how to let go." Tayuya continued to ramble tossing her hair back looking forward right at Hinata. This was easily the most fucked up thing he had ever experienced. And it was kind of turning him on. Well, turning him on more.

"And, how his influence might spread to them."

"Influence? Is it serious?"

"No-aah, no." Damn Tayuya was grinding into him now, her ass bouncing against him. "It's like my whisker marks."

"Oh well, that's no problem. I think your whiskers are cute." Whatever Hinata said after that was lost as Tayuya began to moan.

She was bucking wildly slamming herself up and down his length. This was wrong.

"Heh, she seems like such a nice girl." Tayuya looked back to him. "But she can't get you off like I can she? I bet she fucks like a dead fish."

This was really wrong. He needed to put a stop to it before he -

To late.

"Cumming!" Naruto shouted standing up, knocking Tayuya off of him and sending her forward across the table. The table flipped, sending Hinata tumbling backward and Tayuya through her. "Oh shit! Hinata I'm sorry are you okay?"

He was at her side in a second.

"Fuck Loverboy." Hinata said rubbing her head. "Give me a bit of warning if you want it rough."

That wasn't Hinata.

"Wait." Hinata looked down at her body, moving her hands around before they went right to her boobs. "Holy fuck! I sound like a marshmallow and damn these things are soft! How does she do anything with tits like this? Like holy shit, I feel like I should always be naked."

"Tayuya?"

"In the fucking flesh." The Hinata currently being piloted by Tayuya took his arm and stood up, kissing him deeply. It felt a lot different. Very different. In a good way. Like the softness of Hinata's kiss and the pure sex that was Tayuya's were mixed into the perfect blend. "Want to see how good of a jiggle fuck this girl is?"

"Wait where's Hinata?" He didn't accidentally kill her, did he? "Is she in there too?"

"Nah, just me, I got too much Ego to share a head with anybody." She pulled on his arm bringing it up to Hinata's breast. "But come on let's have a real fuck now. I'm going to break you and this body."

"Naruto?" Hinata's voice sounded from below. Her head appeared coming out of the ground like it was water. She was naked as she continued to rise up. Her large breasts hung heavily on her frame her narrow waist and round hips on full display. For all of two seconds before she tried to cover herself with her arms. "What's happening? Why am I floating? Why am I naked? And why are their two of me?"

"Damn is that what I look like naked now? I thought you'd have a little bit of pudge but you're thick and fit." Tayuya bit her lip lust shining in her eyes. "And now I have an idea."

There was only one thing that Naruto could say. "Fuck."

"That's part of it ya."

"Excuse me but who are you?"

 **AN: ... I admit I had no idea what the hell I was going to do with this story until I saw a pic of Hinata x Tayuya fanart that was cute. And well... Guess what.**

THREE WAY MUTHA FUCKAS!

Also. I apologiez in advance for this.


	4. Chapter 4

"What's going on?"

"I'm going to fuck Loverboy, and you're going to watch. Maybe you'll learn a thing or two."

Naruto felt a chill go up his spine. In a matter of moments, Tayuya while still in Hinata's body had stripped down to nothing, and shoved him into their bedroom. His dick was holding his will to fight back hostage on the threat that if he didn't stick it into something soon it would explode.

"But- you can't!" Hinata whined, her body half way through in an attempt to hide her naked body from them. She had her hands over her eyes, face redder than any time he'd ever seen her blush. Or at the very least it rivaled the first time he had seen her naked.

Tayuya ignored her, her eyes burning a hole into his crotch with an almost animalistic lust. It was strange seeing the usual bashful Hinata's face look at him with so much desire, but also really fucking hot. His eyes met hers and she bit her lip, pulling and tearing at his clothes to get them off as quickly as possible. "I'm going to ride you raw."

She meant it to. This lacked the sense of urgency that their dreams had, there was nothing driving her towards him outside of raw desire. Or at least that's what he gathered from her eyes and facial expressions. "Can't we talk about-"

"We can talk about me fucking your brains out until you fuck the hell out of me," Tayuya chuckled, a sound he never thought to hear from Hinata, filled with self satsification, lust, and so many other things. "Or at least until you fuck me out of her."

She positioned herself just above his rock hard dick. He had never been so hard. So turned on. His arousal only grew when she ran her hands along her body letting out a sensual moan that could make a dead man hard. Part of him new that this was wrong. That he was about to cheat on his soon-to-be wife.

But that part of him was also really horny and confused. This was still technically Hinata's body so it technically wasn't cheating. Was it rape? Did it matter? His dick said no, now shut the fuck up and fuck the fucking fuck out of the crazy redhead that is inside of Hinata.

"Naruto," Hinata squeaked from the wall. "Please, don't do this. I love you."

It was almost enough. And then Tayuya guided him into her. Her heat drowning out any sensible thought as she took inch by inch of his raging hard on, making the hurt go away and bringing in sweet relief. It felt so good. So very good.

Tayuya gave a moan, shuddering as she took his complete length. Her eyes flickered over to Hinata as she began to move in a slow steady rhythm grinding into him with small circular was unlike anything Hinata had ever done for him. She normally laid there making cute noises while he did most of the work. "Well, I love him to, so we can share."

"What? Who are you? I don't even know what's going on." Hinata, came into the room fully, her naked body on full display, breasts swaying with every slight motion as she hovered in the middle of the room. Then she squeaked and tried to cover herself up once more. One arm acting as a bra while the other covered her vagina. "And how can you love him? You took my body!"

"Bitches can love too." Tayuya leaned down pressing her breasts into Naruto's chest. His hand twitched and he found them around her waist pressing her into him. Then she kissed him. It was like all those cute little kisses he had with Hinata. But amplified by a thousand. It was better even when Tayuya was kissing him in his own body. The mixture of Hinata's sweetness and Tayuya's bluntness was unlike anything else in the world.

She pulled apart a trail of saliva chasing after her as his bodies last desperate attempt to pull her back. Tayuya wiped it from her mouth, turning it into that oh so sexy smile that was so out of place on Hinata's face, her hips still bucking against his. She jerked a hand out pulling Hinata's spectral body towards them with a surprising amount of ease. "Come'ere, Do you see that look on his face? I can show you how do to that."

"You can?" Hinata's arm fell revealing her naked body in all it's curvasiv glory. She bit her lip eyes widened as she looked at Naruto. "I can make Naruto look like that?"

"Fuck yea, you have a sexy ass body." Tayuya grabbed her again and Naruto saw a sight that was straight out of a pornbook. Tayuya kissed Hinata, hard and rough, she fought for a moment, then those struggles slowed and turned into complimentary movements of desire trying to gain more of Tayuya's kisses. Tayuya pulled back, wiping her spit off of Hinata's mouth as she girl floated there wide eyed, face flushed with desire. "Besides, I don't want to take Lover Boy from you. I'm more than willing to share with you."

"But, what if I'm not?" Hinata looked down at them, Tayuya still pounding into him. "What if I want Naruto all to myself?"

Tayuya began to bounce with more vigor her entire body shaking as she felt her clench around his dick. Damn, he was getting so close, watching Hinata make out with what was basically a foul mouthed twin was on the stupid side of hot. "Then you'll have to put up with me fucking him in his dreams and taking over your body to fuck him. And isn't it just fucked if I get you pregnant?"

"Don't," Naruto grunted eye twitching as Tayuya worked her hips around him. Fuck she was just so- how was she so good at this? Didn't she die when she was fourteen or something? Was he fucking a fourteen year old? And kind of cheating on Hinata. "I get a say in this?"

"No," They both answered at once. Okay, so apparently Hinata could be assertive.

"Actually," Tayuya purred, hand roaming Hinata's body, the girl could do nothing under the touch, shivering slightly as her hand roamed south. Hinata shuddered paralyzed by lust when Tayuya's fingers slid between her lips. "I know of a better use for your mouth Loverboy."

"You know what to do don't you Sweat Pea?" Tayuya kissed Hinata again. Barely a feathered thing, like he would give her leaving for work. "I can see it in your memories, the longing to have him eat your pussy like he eats ramen, to bring you to the earth shattering orgasm you fear you'll never get."

"Hey~" He was silenced by Tayuya slamming her hips down onto him again, sending a jolt of pleasure through his mind and making rational thoughts hard to - wow she had fantastic breasts, he should grab onto those. And never ever let go.

"Besides, don't you think he talks to much? Why not give him a kiss you'll never forget." Tayuya pulled Hinata over the bed, her legs phasing through the material until she hit his head. All the while Tayuya continued to fuck him, bouncing up and down like it was the most natural thing in the world.

How the hell had he not cum yet? His dick felt so full, like it was going to explode any second. More he needed more. His hands found Tayuya's hips, his own matching hers in rhythm and ferocity. Damn, it felt like she was trying to suck his soul out through his dick.

Wait, was she?

Hopefully not- His vision was obstructed as Hinata's leg fell over his face, and he came face to face with her pussy. She smelled like sex, not the sweaty hot passonate fucking that was stained into Tayuya's very existence. No this was sweeter, gentler, like Hinata was.

"Naruto," she practically moaned his name, "Please. I can't help it. Make me feel good to."

There was nothing else he could do, if his tongue was a dick it'd be rock hard right now. Even as he felt Tayuya grinding on his dick, hips still bucking wildly, his objective was clear. Make Hinata moan. He started softly, licking at her entrance, feeling her thighs clench as she squeaked at his touch.

For a spirit-ghost-soul thing she was rather wet. And it didn't taste that great either, but it was her moans and the feeling of her hands clenching on his stomach that drove him forward. He licked, suckled, nibbled, rubbed, and ground into her.

While Tayuya continued to fuck the daylights out of him. "Oh fuck! Loverboy! I think I'm reaching my limit!"

"Ahh!" Hinata gasped, her legs shaking with the coming of an orgasm. "Fuck," Well that was a first. "Naruto, I'm going to-"

She was cut off by the sound of her moaning into a kiss, were they kissing up there? Damn. Their hands left his body, no doubt grabbing and holding onto each other as they reached their orgasms.

Then he came. Sputtering like a firehose into Tayuya, it burned as it rushed out of him with such force it felt like the first time he ever masturbated. It didn't stop, his legs clenched and he felt his body draw out more sperm than it ever had before.

He felt Tayuya's orgasm as much as he heard it. She screamed into Hinata's kiss. Legs bucking wildly. Hinata's he didn't feel, it was like she was fading away bit by bit with each moan.

"Ahh!" Hinata moaned, her legs untangling from his head and she flew into her own body. "Shit!" she squeaked, whatever residual high Tayuya had built up inside of her was to much and she fell forward hugging him tightly. "That was- that was."

"Weird?" Naruto asked panting, wrapping his arm around her. "But really really hot. Are you you?"

"Yea, she's her." Tayuya's voice drifted up from the ground. Her head poking through the sheets, a dopey smile on her face. "Damn, you literally fucked the hell out of her. Well, I did all the work. And I'm not really hell."

She slid onto the bed beside him, taking one of his arms as her own and entangling her fingers with Hinata's. "That was mind blowing. Damn should have said that one first. I'll just have to say it next time we do that."

"I'd rather stay in my own body." Hinata mumbled, kissing him in a mildly possesive manner. "Can't you take over Naruto's body next time?"

"You'd trust me with a dick?" Tayuya snorted, "If you wanted more than one dick you just ask Lover Boy to make a clone I know you've been dreaming about that for a while."

"Tayuya!" Hinata squeaked face still red from the post sex haze, she buried her head into his shoulder but she could feel her smiling.

"I already have two souls in my body, I'm at capacity." Naruto groaned feeling the contours of the girls.

"Oh hey, good idea, next time lets get the Kyuubi to turn into a sexy red-haired fox girl with giant knockers, I'd even let her be the dom!" Tayuya leaned up to lay a kiss on his cheek, her body tangled with his and Hinata's.

"NO. I'M MALE." A voice boomed from inside his head as clear as a cannon.

"Uhh, Kurama says no, and he's a male."

"Did I ask her?" Tayuya flapped her hand in the air letting out a long drawn out yawn. "It'll probably happen, unless I forget."

 **AN: This chapter was brought to you by some kind of drug. I almost had Tayuya give Naruto a blow job while he was getting fucked by Hinata. Cause you know. Ghosts can do weird ass shit like that.**

Beta'd by xxTerror33xx


	5. Chapter 5

"Umm, Tayuya?"

Hinata looked over at the naked redhead that was following her around trying desperately to grab at the produce in the store. It was probably the afterglow of the best round of sex she ever had followed by its almost as good sequel, and the third act that happened just a scant few hours ago in the shower was fantastic, but she was beginning to appreciate the craziness the female ghost brought into her life.

When they were at home. Not in the middle of the store.

"What's up Sweetpea?" Tayuya stuck her hand through a barrel of oranges, her face filled with disappointment. Even as her round breasts sat on her chest ready for Hinata to touch - an offer that Tayuya had made was always going to be on the table.

Hinata tore her eyes away from the redheads handfuls focusing on her grocery list. "Not that I umm, mind but why are you following me?"

"Because I'm bored and its fun to make people think you're crazy by having you talk to yourself in public." Indeed there were quite a few villagers giving her a wide breadth now. Perhaps she better be more discreet, she'd hate to have people think she was actually crazy right before her wedding. "That and Lover boy is studying or some shit, and as fun as it would be to watch him squirm as I gave him a blow job in front of his sensei, he asked me not to."

Tayuya floated through the fruit and grabbed her shoulder shoving a breast into her face. "Besides, I need to have some girl time with my side chick."

Side chick? No, nevermind, probably just another random nickname. Like sidekick, but with girl instead.

"Why are you so sex crazed?" She asked barely above a whisper.

Tayuya frowned. "Cause sex is great."

"Tayuya, please, I'm your sidechick right? You can tell me." Hinata smiled, dragging Tayuya along to the next item on the list.

"You sure I can't just eat you out while you shop? It'd be a lot more fun and a lot less depressing." That one got her, sending her into a blushing storm as she handled a particularly phallic vegetable. They were going to have sex again tonight. All night. What the hell was going to happen on their honeymoon?

"Tayuya please, I want to know more about you." It would help her come to terms with why exactly she allowed this woman into their lives so easily.

Tayuya backed away, her usually cocky smile vanishing. "Fine," She said that word with far to much spite. With a breath Tayuya's anger was released and Hinata saw what lay beneath all that. "Have you ever died Hinata?"

"Huh?"

"I don't remember much about the first time I died, or what happened after that. There really wasn't anything I guess, the second time I got reanimated I remember being controlled, and I hated that. I hated it so much that when I could release myself I did, bonus points if I brought that bastard Shikamaru with me, but I didn't." Tayuya let out a sigh, pushing back a tuft of her red hair, her arms crossed over her chest in some failed form of modesty. "After that it didn't suck, it didn't anything there was nothing, nothing, nothing and more nothing. It wasn't that I was alone, it wasn't that I was the only thing there. I was nothing. Just a vague concept of myself. And unending boredom."

"I'm sorry," Hinata began, She had gotten a bit of a rundown on Tayuya's history from Naruto courtesy of Orochimaru. It wasn't good, if anything her time serving under Orochimaru was the best part of her life. "That must have been hard on you."

Tayuya laughed. "It almost started to hurt at times, but I couldn't feel anything." A smile twisted onto her face as she held out her hand in front of her heart, moments later strings of red appeared all pointing in the same direction. "Then this began to appear,"

"A red string of fate," Hinata mumbled, blindly following the string, it pointed in the vague direction of where Naruto should be. She reached out and touched the string. It was warm. The string wrapped around her finger then pulsed and grew longer and longer trailing down her arm until it reached right above her heart. It was like her soul was leaving her body once more. But just a part, her own string - purple compared to Tayuya's - mingled and danced with Tayuya's before they entwined. "We're connected."

"Apparently?" Tayuya shrugged. Waving her fingers about the whole of their strings revealed themselves, mixing into a knot with a third orange string. Naruto's. "Anyways, Loverboy's string appeared and I followed it to him. It was like the first time I ever orgasmed, just feeling in his dream for the first time. It wasn't even a sexy dream or anything he was fucking eating ramen. Eventually I was able to do more stuff, until..."

"You had sex with Naruto in his dream." An old lady looked at her weird. "Oh uhhh, sorry I meant that I was umm that is."

"Oh nonsense Lady Hyuuga, it's so wonderful to see young love as eager as yours." The old woman placed a hand on her shoulder and gave her a sly wink. "Not that I can blame you, that Naruto boy is quite the catch."

"Umm thank you."

"Anyways ya, that's pretty much it. All I could do was talk and touch. I can't taste anything, or smell stuff just talk, listen and touch. And the best way to touch someone is to fuck their brains out." She smiled into a sigh, touching her cheek. "But really I think I'm just fucked up in the head and I really love to fuck Loverboy."

"I can accept that." Hinata bowed at the produce Tayuya was currently half floating through. "But if you can't taste or smell things, would you like to borrow my body for a meal or two?"

"Fuck yea!, but by the way I can taste your pussy, so," Tayuya wiggled her eyebrows. "Time to eat?"

Tayuya dove head first into Hinata's crotch, nearly knocking her over. She felt Tayuya's hands on her bare flesh under her skirt, a moments after the redheads face vanished beneath it's frills she felt that wonderful wonderful tongue pierce her sex.

It was really awkward to buy groceries while having an orgasm. But also, really kind of hot. Wait was she a pervert now?

XXXX

"That was the best thing I have ever eaten." Tayuya groaned rubbing her belly full of ramen. It was actually quite impressive, if Hinata hadn't set a limit then the girl might have beaten her own record. But it was her body winning it twice so what would that mean?

Hinata floated behind her body as Tayuya strolled through the streets, a brilliant smile on her face that Hinata wasn't sure she could replicate despite it being her own face making it. Every time someone came into flew she would flinch and try to cover herself, only to be reminded that the only one that could see her was Tayuya, and Naruto whenever he was done.

Tayuya came to a dead stop in front of a music store, turning into a little kid as she looked at a flute that was on display. With eyes full of a childlike excitement she turned to Hinata. "Can I? I haven't played a real flute in forever?"

After a brief bit of head counting Hinata nodded yes, they could likely make it through the next month without a small loan from her father, even with the wedding costs. "Did you play the flute a lot?"

"Yea," Tayuya nodded her fingers twitching to a soundless rythme. "It used to be my favorite thing. I think."

"Sure," Hinata nodded. "I'd like to hear you play as well."

Tayuya sprinted into the store, slammed the money onto the counter and was out in a heartbeat. Flute already in her mouth. The sound that came from it was exactly what Hinata expected a flute to sound. But the emotion behind it, like long lost friends being reunited at last.

It was simple and beautiful.

Then the revelry began. It was like a glorious celebration of all music was coming out from the flute. The low notes boomed like thunderous drums, the highs sung like early morning birds, each one blended into the next as naturally as a river flows downhill, even when they jarred left to right, fluttering about like a skittish hummingbird.

Hinata could feel and see the sound as much as she heard them. It was beyond anything she had ever heard before, but it was like everything she had heard. Music in its purest form. All this coming from a shinobi that had once been forced into Orochimaru's servitude. With a talent like that Tayuya could have made a living playing that flute of hers.

"Bah," The girl spat once she finished. "Could have done better with my own fingers."

A crowd that had grown around them cheered. Roaring applause and praising the heir of the Hyuuga clan for having so many talents.

Praise that Tayuya took with a smile and began a second verse.

 **AN: No sex, mostly just Hinata and Tayuya bonding and stuff. Trying to make this ghostly threeway make sense. And a bit of plot!**

 **xxTerror33xx**


	6. Chapter 6

"You know, I really should be offended."

Tayuya hummed a soft tune, she was floating through the air like she was lounging on a river, completely naked as always, ghosts didn't need clothes, even for a wedding. Even if she could get clothes it'd be pointless, by this point the only two people that could see here were as used to her being naked as they were having sex with a ghost. It'd been a wild couple of days.

"Because we asked you not to do anything?" Hinata mumbled, looking absolutely stunning in her wedding dress. It looked good, but it so traditional, so plain, and just really didn't make Hinata look, anybody, than she normally did. Especially how she looked last night, her face red tongue out as she had another orgasm that left her little more than a twitching husk. For a girls only night, it was pretty good. "Or because you're not the one getting married.

Tayuya snorted. "No, because that get up you got is the least sexy thing I've ever seen, it's not too late to get that sparkly white bikini that shows off your juggs."

Weddings might be boring as all hell, especially because it wasn't hers, not that she wanted to get married, she was much better off as a sex spirit. Probably. But Naruto and Hinata's wedding was extra boring, it was less celebration of happiness and union and more giant political shit show. Sure world peace was great and all, but did literally everybody and their grandmother have to be here for this?

It was just a public announcement that they were going to fuck the next day. Though Tayuya did have to admit, she was looking forward to the honeymoon, nice private beach for a whole week that was going to smell like a brothel by the time she was done with it.

"Actually," Hinata mumbled, pulling down just enough of her kimono to reveal a single bikini strap. "I am."

"Holy fuck girl!" Tayuya squealed, flying in through Hinata to give the girl a kiss, "I fucking you love you, know that right?"

"I'm happy you feel that way, and I'm happy that out of all the ghosts that could have haunt fucked Naruto it was you." In no time at all Hinata was back to her prim and proper self. It still sounded so out of place for a marshmallow-like Hinata to swear like that.

Tayuya smiled, allowing her hand to come in contact with Hinata's flesh, tracing a line around the girl's nipple. "Why is it you only say you love me when I'm blowing your mind?"

"You don't seem like the type to love," Hinata twitched at her touch, but the pound or so of make the girl wore hide the blush that was growing. She wouldn't go too far, just enough to tease, this was still their big day.

"Oh please, love is all I do now," Tayuya twisted around lifting Hinata's chin up for another kiss, this one longer, a promise of what was to come. "And I love you and Naruto with whatever is left of my shriveled up heart, you two let me feel alive again. And I know you feel the same."

Hinata smiled, "I do, I hope you stay with us for a long time Tayuya, I mean it."

A knock came from the door. "Sister? They're ready for you?"

"Oh god!" Tayuya moaned, touching herself violently, "I can't take it much more I'm going to cum! I swear you're going to make me orgasm! Over and over again with your giant futa dick, it feels like my insides are about to rupture!"

Okay, so she wasn't exactly keeping to her word.

Hinata didn't so much as even look at her, instead opting to reach over to grab onto one of Tayuya's nipples and twisting hard. It hurt just as much as it felt good. Which was her favorite kind of hurt. "I'm ready as well Hanabi."

And that was her cue to leave as well.

XXXX

Weddings were boring. And the band they had was absolutely horrible.

But the food smelled fantastic. Which was where Tayuya chose to hang around while she waited for the ceremony to be over. Being a ghost meant that she missed many things. Like eating, smelling, and oddly enough pooping. Being a ghost was kind of like being really hungry but also really having to poop at the same time. Except not really.

Being a ghost was complicated.

Still, she missed eating with her own mouth. Eating while in control of Hinata made everything taste slightly like lavender and textures were way off, even smells. She couldn't even enjoy chocolate, because Hinata didn't like chocolate so Hinata's body didn't enjoy chocolate. Shame she couldn't take over Naruto's body, then everything would probably taste like ramen. Which was actually a bonus.

Damn fox was just afraid that she'd figure out how to turn it into a sexy redhead with giant tits.

Apparently, when she died, her boob envy turned into boob lust. Which was just fine for her especially when she got to enjoy Hinata's juicy melons whenever she wanted. Just not right now because of wedding stuff.

Shame she couldn't just eat some of these grapes! It wasn't even just the grapes! It was food! She'd kill to be able to eat something.

She shivered, a cold breeze running through her. Wasn't it summer?

Wait. She felt cold. She wasn't supposed to feel anything, at least not without touching Naruto or Hinata. The skies turned dark like someone turned the light off.

"Ahhhh," A voice that chilled her bones and burned her ears pierced the silence. "I've found you, my bride!"

Oh, fuck no.

XXXX

"Do you Naruto Uzumaki take Hinata Hyuuga to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do."

"And do you Hinata Hyuuga take Naruto Uzumaki to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do."

Naruto smiled, holding onto Hinata's hand, staring at the ring that now bound them. To think, a week ago he was worried that he was cheating on her with a ghost, and now she was sleeping with the ghost as much as he was. So much for a normal marriage. But then again normal was boring, and he got to have a threesome once or twice a day. Sometimes more! Hard to complain about that. Really hard.

Wait, who turned out the lights?

A mummering echoed throughout the crowd, everybody was looking towards the sky to see it dim, like a stormy day without clouds.

"Well that's not ominous," Shikamaru chuckled from behind him. "You sure Hinata isn't some kind of evil spirit and you just sold your soul?"

A glare did not stop the smirk on his friends face.

"Naruto," Hinata took a step forward, "I have a bad feeling about this."

She wasn't' the only one. The clouds in the sky began to spiral around turning into a grey whirlpool with the lightless sun in the center of it all. This was really not good. Why couldn't he just have like six months without some kind of evil threatening the world?

A scream drew his attention and that of everybody else. It was Tayuya flying through the air as tendrils of dull purple smoke chased after her like snakes biting at her ankles. She cried as one bit her, sapping her strength. "Naruto! Help!"

The crowd began to gasp at the sight, some tried to help the girl but their attempts fell through the girl and the smoke.

"Is that Tayuya?" Shikamaru asked. "Isn't she dead?"

That didn't matter. She was in danger. Naruto charged forward, grabbing onto her hand her legs were consumed by the smoke, stretching her further and further towards the horizon like she was being pulled to some far off land. "Tayuya! Hang on! I got you!"

"We have you!" Hinata shouted, grabbing onto the girl as well. "What's happening."

"He's come for me! I don't know who or why but he came for me!" Tayuya cried, tears streaming down her face, no matter how hard they pulled they weren't gaining any ground, she was slowly being pulled away from them. "Please don't let him take me!"

"We won't!" Hinata shouted, her Byakugan activated.

"I won't let him take you I promise!" He searched deep, gathering his sage chakra and summoning Kurama's strength as well. He didn't sense anything. No that was wrong, he sensed nothing. Like whatever was pulling Tayuya away from them was nothing. What could he do? There had to be something right? A seal? More chakra? That always fixed things before.

Tayuya screamed, her hands slipping in their hands, her body was transparent now, and the smoke was claiming her torso. "You'll come for me, right? Please! Say that you'll come for me!"

"You're not going anywhere!" Naruto shouted, he felt the hands of his friends on his arm, some trying to grab Tayuya, others helping him pull. "Just hang on Tayuya!"

"Say that you'll come! Come for me please!" She was crying, all but her face was swallowed up. "Please! Just say it!"

"We'll come for you!" He shouted.

She smiled. And her hand slipped through his. She was gone in a heartbeat and the sky turned back to normal. The entire group fell down, whatever they were pulling on had vanished. All that remained in his hand was a red thread that stretched towards the horizon.

"Hinata, we have to," Naruto began but was cut off by Hinata standing, holding up her dress to kick off her heels.

"The fuck are you waiting for Naruto! Let's go get her!"

Despite himself, he couldn't help but smile. "I love my wife."

 **AN: Hey look. Plot! Like... three more chapters? (If I ever get around to writing it)**


	7. Chapter 7

"So explain it to me again," Sakura demanded, still in the dress she had worn to their wedding, not that Hinata was much better, at this rate the wedding dress she had worn was more of a halloween costume than anything practical. And considering how they were both still wearing their heels after a day of chasing Tayuya's red string all the way to the ocean he had to give them credit for being tough. "But with less stupid."

Only Sakura had managed to join them, others had tried but apparently Shikamaru stopped them, something about causing an incident or making sure the village would still be working. Still Sakura was probably the best person they could have got on this rescue mission, so it was hard to complain.

"Naruto had a dream where he fucked Tayuya," Hinata said without taking her eyes off of the red string, her feet falling against the sandy shores, her byakugan activated as she continued to chase after the string. They were running out of beach and the string was still going. "He kept having dreams about it, then one day she appeared when he wasn't dreaming and proceeded to try and suck him off while we were having dinner, she fell into me knocking me out of my body and then fucked Naruto in my body while I watched, then made my spirit join in. It was amazing. We kept having sex and I grew to love her and I want her back."

Naruto blinked, he loved his wife, especially when she swore like that. It was kind of hot. "That's pretty much it."

"I really shouldn't be surprised anymore. But are you sure we're on the right path? There's only ocean." Sakura gestured ahead of them, her once long dress was torn around her knees to give her all the movement she needed.

"There's an island pass the fog, I think that's where the string ends." Hinata muttered, without any hesitation she leapt onto a wave and continued to sprint along the water. Hopefully, if he ever got captured she'd do the same for him. He'd do the same for her, well he'd try to at least.

"But the only place out this way, is the Island of Whirlpool." Sakura gave a sigh, unrelenting as she followed them onto the water. "I just knew this had Uzumaki bullshit written all over it. If I get cursed I'm blaming you."

"Cursed?" Naruto asked. He heard that no one went to the island in one of Iruka's books, but that was about it.

Sakura sighed. "Honestly, you're an Uzumaki, shouldn't have you more of an interest in your heritage? Even Karin knows more than you."

In his defense Karin was a nerd. He meant that in the best way possible.

"Basically when they were about to be destroyed during the third ninja war a bunch of whirlpool ninja managed to destroy the army assaulting them, but all that remained was ruins, now whoever goes there eventually meets their end."

Well that sounded fun.

XXXX

"Please tell me we're not going towards that."

The island was engulfed by a storm that whirled around them in fits of green energy that seemed to crack the time, it lingered in the air before vanishing like it was never there before. Great gusts of fog whirled around a funnel like a whirlpool in the sky that led to some other world. Then there was the moaning, it was like something straight from a horror movie.

Mostly because of the spooky ghosts that were floating up from the sea and then up into the sky.

"Piss off you sick fucker! I'm not going to do that!" Tayuya's voice carried through the still air and flat waves like a shrill bitter wind that pierced their souls.

Of course she was there, why wouldn't she be?

"Was that her?" Sakura asked, her face pale against the green light that had replaced the sun. "I really don't think we should be here."

"Then go home." Hinata began walking towards the island once more, her face stern, eyes focused into the ruined city that was apparently his ancestral home. Great stone buildings with paint washed away by the water and salt soaked air, even from a distance he could see carvings that swirled up and down every facet of the destroyed city like stone vines.

He could feel something pulling him towards the city, towards the center, and right above that giant whirlpool in the sky. They entered the city and felt like they were in another world entirely. The air was thick, like they were breathing in a stew of water, and an odorless mist clung to every surface.

The water itself turned green and calm, covering what was once the streets and bridges of his mother's home.

"I'm not using my chakra," Hinata mumbled as they walked down one of the empty streets towards the center, directly below the swirling green maelstrom that was beating like some foul heart. They were close now.

"Piss off!" Tayuya's voice echoed from every direction and the dark sky lit up with a fierce red lightning that clashed against nothing. "I already told you that has nothing to do with me!"

The streets began to blur, distorting as they rushed forward, it was like everything was being stretched, the center of the maelstrom was growing close and they were running up towards it, going further and further away from their own land.

"But it does belong to your soul!" A deep voice boomed with a childish glee. Another strike of red clashed against the green. "Oh, fiesty, that's why I decided to make you my bride, think about it, the wife of death, you'd be my immortal play thing forever and ever."

The red lightning struck once more, this time it froze in place, hanging in the air as they reached the top of the growing mountain that was growing up from the whirlpool village. All around them the ruins of the village surrounded them rising up into the skyline as the maelstrom and the horizon became one. Best not to look into the green.

Tayuya appeared wearing a white and red wedding dress that showed a generous amount of her cleavage and was cut all the way to her belly button, it looked more like lingerie than anything formal, save for the large pillowy skirt that only went to her knees. Her long red hair was pulled back into a ponytail.

And her heeled foot was currently embedded into the crotch of man wearing a black and green suit. His eyes were nothing but a pure white light that shined even as he grunted in pain. For the most part he looked exactly like Naruto did, just more green, and less whiskers. "I might be dead but that still really hurts! How are we going to have children if you keep that up?"

"Screw you you ugly sack of shit! I'm not going to have your kids and I'm not going to have sex with you." Tayuya snapped and kicked the look-alike in the nuts once again. "Why isn't this working? Is it because your dicks so small I keep missing?"

"You know I'm a shapeshifter right? I can make it any length I want." The look-alike laughed, grabbing her by the arm.

Tayuya froze for a second. "Any size?" She shook her head. "Wait no! Don't distract me, you're not Naruto and you're not Hinta! Now let go of me!"

"No," The creep laughed, licking her cheek. "You escaped me once, but I'm never going to let you go again, I will collect what's mine."

Alright, enough of this. Naruto stepped forward, finding his voice even though his lungs didn't fill with air. "Hey! Let go of her!"

They both turned to him.

"Oh, it's you," The look-a-like slumped, still holding onto Tayuya.

"Oh, sup Lover boy, Sweetpea," Tayuya was all smiles as she continued to struggle against the man's grip, going so far as to shove her heel into his neck. "Give me just a second and we can go home alright? I just need to tell this creep to go fuck off to hell!"

"We'll help!" Hinata got into a battle stance, as did Sakura, "Let go of her or-"

"Or what? You'll kill me?" The man laughed, spinning Tayuya around like they were dancing. "Do you have any idea who I am? Or what I can do?" He continued to dance and twirl with her like she was a willing participant. "I'll give you a hint, I'm death 'Sweetpea' and you can't kill me."

"It's true!" Tayuya shouted ass he got spun around kicking Death in the crotch again and again. "You can't kill him! I tried!"

"Then what do you want with Tayuya?" Naruto asked, trying to find any natural chakra in this place to draw from, maybe they could seal-

"Oh please, don't tell me you want to seal me? How are you going to do that summon me like your father did to put the great big fox in you?" Death laughed as he continued his dance. "Spoiler alert, that's not happening, as for why I want this feisty little specter, the answer is simple; She's dead, and in the mortal world."

"As to why I want to marry her, well she's more lively than most live people are, she's got a real fire in her soul," He tried to kiss her but Tayuya blocked it, with her fist. "That and it's all part of our contract."

"What contract?" Sakura asked.

"I believe I know," They turned back to see Orochimaru walking down the side of a building. "Good evening Naruto, Hinata, congratulations on your wedding."

"Thank you?"

He smiled, and then nodded towards Tayuya, "It is nice to see you as well Tayuya,"

"Who the fuck are you and what did you do with Orochimaru?" Tayuya sneered, her heel stabbing Death in the throat.

"As to this whole debacle, I believe I have the solution right here." He pulled out a simple looking mask.

"Oh shit, there's still one of those around?" Death let go of Tayuya and causing her to fall to the ground. "Oh, wait, you're the bastard that cut my stomach open that one time."

"My Apologies, but it was necessary at the time," He gave a small bow, and pressed forward, Death backing away from the mask. "As for this I believe that you had a contract with the Uzumaki and you claimed Tayuya as your cost."

"Maybe," Death took a step back, still wearing Naruto's face. "But she has no one else for her so she was a lost soul, the contract,"

"She's not lost!" Hinata glared stomping forward, "She has a home with me and Naruto! She's part of our family!"

"Exactly," Orochimaru, agreed still smiling, "As you can see you have no right to claim Tayuya as your wife. But fear not, I believe I should have a solution that will benefit us all. Let us have a talk in private."

"Umm, okay?" Death asked allowing Orochimaru to drag him away.

"So," Sakura began. "What the fuck is all this about?"

"I have no fucking idea," Hinata said simply as she walked over to Tayuya, "Are you okay?"

"Yea, I'm fine, damn bastard was a creep though." Tayuya hopped back up onto her feet and dusted off her skirt. "Fuck It's weird not floating everywhere," She then looked up towards Hinata. "Also fuck, I forgot I was so short!"

"I think you're adorable," Hinata pulled her into a tender hug. "I'm so happy you're okay."

"Hey now, don't get sappy with me, it was just literally dancing with death. And we still have to find out what Orochimaru's going to do." Tayuya returned the hug. "By the way Lover-boy is Pinkie over there single? We should have a four way later!"

"Pass," Sakura said.

"You don't know what you're missing out on," Tayuya shrugged.

After a few moments, Orochimaru returned, no longer holding the mask and smiling proudly. "Well then, that was interesting, Tayuya, you're free to go, and you're alive once again,"

"That easy? Where's the fight? The epic showdown? Are we really ending this series of screen in such a let down?" Naruto asked, scratching his head.

"Oh, don't worry about the ending, the author really wants to write Tayuya again, so I'm sure you three will have more action later." Orochimaru continued to walk forward, back towards Konoha. "Now, let us get out of here before he changes his mind."

"Can someone please explain to me what the fuck actually just happened?" Sakura asked stomping after them. "Wasn't there supposed to be more action and sex?"

 **AN: Lame, chapter I know. I just couldn't write it how I needed to write stuff. So you guys get this... floppy pancake chapter. (I TRIED FOR MONTHS OKAY!)**

 **Also I'm looking for a new Naruto x Tayuya idea.**


End file.
